“Two Doors, Two Openers, and One Big Ego: When Nigerian Wealth Takes a Comical Turn.”
Money Can’t Buy Class, But it Can Buy Someone to Open Doors for You.
It’s like a scene straight out of Inception: a wealthy Nigerian half-man, half-politician getting out of his car in pure bourgeois fashion, tinged with political horse-flippantry (yup! I just made that word up – sue me) and having not one, but two people open the door for him. You read that right, someone opened the door for the person who was opening the door for him! Who needs a chauffeur when you can have a Nigerian adult human with goals, aspirations and dreams open doors for you? I’m sure the Queen herself didn’t get this much pampering. It’s a door opening dilemma that seems to be happening in a dream-like state of excess and wealth worship.
*whispers* You can watch the video here.
Now, before we get our knickers in a twist, let’s not judge the bloke too harshly. We all love a bit of door-opening action, don’t we? Move over, red carpets and paparazzi, we now have the door-opening squad!
It’s a real-life display of the malaise that often accompanies the pursuit of wealth in Nigeria. But what does this absolute tomfoolery say about Nigerian culture and our obsession with wealth?
Nigerians love wealth. We love flaunting our money and living like royalty. From driving around in expensive cars to spraying money at events, we are known for our love of showing off our cash. We even have a phrase for it: “Owo ni koko” which loosely translates to “Money is the main thing.” It’s just an empty display of affluence that ultimately amounts to nothing more than a flashy facade and yet, we continue to obsess over it. We continue to perpetuate a culture of materialism and greed. We have become a society of “Aprokos” who mind other people’s business except our own, seeking every opportunity to climb the social ladder. Have you ever heard the saying, “Money talks”? Well, in Nigeria, it’s more like money shouts, jumps up and down, and demands a royal escort out of the car.
The truth is, Nigerians have a complicated relationship with wealth. On one hand, we admire and celebrate those who have achieved financial success. We view them as symbols of hard work, determination, and the potential for upward mobility. But on the other hand, we sometimes take this admiration to ridiculous extremes. We idolize the wealthy to the point where we overlook their excesses. We turn a blind eye to corruption and exploitation, as long as the perpetrators are throwing lavish parties and greasing our coffers by a penny to the dollar. We’ve become a nation of materialistic snobs who are more concerned with what’s in our bank accounts than the positive impact we can make on those around us which will unequivocally lead to faster nation building.
So, when we see a wealthy Nigerian with a door-opening assistant for his door-opening assistant, we can’t help but roll our eyes and laugh. We know it’s absurd, but we also know that it’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Let us all take a moment to reflect on our relationship with wealth and extravagance. Let us celebrate success, but not at the expense of our values and principles. And let us never forget that, no matter how much money we have, we all still have to open our own doors.
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